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Q: |
I know this is going to sound really complacent and maybe I just analyze things too much. Why do I want more of god? What am I striving for? Why would anyone want to be hungry, desperate, broken, or any of those other unapealing words? I want God to be my everything, but I don't want change, dicomfort or surrender. Change and surrender is uncomfortable. No one sits on a chair of thorns if they can avoid it ya know? |
A: |
Complacent? Not really? I agree with Dr. James Dobson that we all go through hard times, ups and downs alternate. This happens in the emotional, physical, and spiritual worlds. It's just a law of nature. We all doubt at some point. Now about the other. It all comes down to how much you love God. He's already done the hard part. He's loved you. All you have to do is take this free thing he's holding out to you. But why would you want to become broken, hungry, or desperate? I know exactly why you're struggling. You're scared of giving up your identity. Paul writes in Ephesians 4:15: "We will in all things grow up into him who is the head, that is, Christ." I heard an illustration recently about how chasing God is like climbing a greased pole. As long as you keep going, you're fine. Once you stop pressing on, you slide back. We are supposed to grow. Maybe the lyrics to a song will help. Go here to read the words to Amy Grant's "Fat Baby." The point is, we are supposed to mature. When we are fully grown (which doesn't happen on Earth, by the way), we will be like Christ. Not exactly like Christ. We won't be gods. We will emulate God. That is what we're striving for. You're afraid of being like God. Because when you become like Jesus Christ, you are no longer like you. The flesh, the carnal, worldly nature is no longer there. That means that things that may feel good, sins, temptations and such, will no longer be something you do. You're afraid to give yourself over entirely to God. Don't be. God loves you so much. He knows your fear, and he knows why it's there. He won't ask you to do something unless he knows it's safe. He has something better. Don't be afraid to give everything over to him. He loves you too much to not give something better back. |